To bong or not to bong, that is the question...

Monday, February 25, 2008
Cause of, and Solution... to Lifes Problems..

As much as we would want to deny, we know we can't. I love drinking. Depending on occasions, or the company we're with, equates to what type of liquor & how much we drink. We can start off slow, and however we persist, we always almost end up a drunken stupor...

Liquor gives us a high, makes us forget who we are temporarily, gives us a facade to hide behind. Whatever happens after we drink, is not our fault, it's all due to the alcohol. But I beg to differ. It's up to each individuals character. Some just snooze, some become obedient, others turn violent, and some even, turn into the devil incarnate.

Maybe it's time we appreciate the finer moments of drinking, couple of friends, quiet place, nice music... just basic chill n relaxation. Wine, brandy, champagne, bring it on. Cos even if we get high, it's considered a happy high, and however stupid we become, we can just laugh it off. Of course considering its the right company...

Lets give cheers to Alcohol, Cause of, & Solution, to all of Lifes Problems.

Smoking @ 1:49 PM

Friday, February 22, 2008
Where is my Silver Lining?

Cheer up, Cheer up,

it will all be over soon.

Thou shall not wallow in misery,

Thou shall live life to the fullest.

Thou has got no choice,

It's just wrong timing, wrong place.

Smoking @ 11:57 AM

Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Becoming a Reality

As the date to my departure approaches, the dreadness within me begins to increase. I began to feel the nauseating feeling piling up. I am going to miss this place, I'm going to miss my new found friends. I had only just passed my initiation process, I had fallen in love with Home... yet again. And then reality crept back, I have to leave, soon.

As much as I look forward to travelling, I'm apprehensive to the fact of getting used to living in a new city, new offices, new surroundings, new people, new colleagues. The feeling of unfamiliarity and uncertainty is unsettling. I don't want to leave, never, ever...

Perhaps it's fated, perhaps it's a test, but for once, I want to say no. No more changes, no more tests, and nothing which can upset me... I keep telling myself, over time, it will get better, it will be better, it can only get better...

The familiar faces, the familiar places,

reveling in convenience, enjoying the comfort,

being at home...

Smoking @ 11:22 AM

Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Letting Go of the Past

When is the right time? Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year, so can it be considered an event?

However big or small, it's something that changes us, ideally, it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, a new start, and giving yourself chances.

But it's important to remember that amid all the problems, there will be a few things really worth holding on to...

Smoking @ 4:33 PM

Monday, February 18, 2008
Crossroads

There are certain points in a persons life where we arrive in a crossroad. We tell ourselves we already know which path to take. Its the right thing to do, it's the only way. But the subconcious keeps telling us to be brave and travel the unknown paths. It may work out, and we never know till we try.

But isit fair? Choices we make, not only affects our lives, but others too. I guess we are only humans, we want the best for ourselves. But isit time to think of the other party? We can pretend to ignore all these thoughts, but isit fair to us then? The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon, we can only lie to ourselves for so long. Sooner or later, we want out. Sooner or later, the truth catches up with us...

I tell myself that I'm leaving soon, It's only fair. If you leave it alone for long, the feelings dissappears. It's only right. Working abroad I can live with, it's the loneliness that kills...

How do you know when to listen, and when not to?

Smoking @ 11:34 AM

Sunday, February 17, 2008
Making Choices

In life we are always faced with decisions which are never easy.

We try to pretend, ignore or basically just deny its existence until the very last minute,

and we end up making the wrong decisions.

So how do we choose?

There isn't a guide book out there which can tell us right or wrong, left or right.

We get tired, we get scared, and denial doesnt change the truth.

Sooner or later, we have to cast aside our denial and face the world head on,

and make a choice, hopefully, the right one.

It is never hard, just painful...

Pain, sometimes we just have to ride it out. There are no solutions, no easy answer.

We just have to breathe deep, and wait for it to subside...

But sometimes the pain gets you, truth is, you can outrun it.

But life just makes more...

Smoking @ 9:34 PM

Saturday, February 16, 2008
Where is the Line Drawn?

It's funny when 2 people in your group of friends get together. How do we treat them? Can we behave like olden times? Or do we have to tread carefully with every topic. It used to be where we can discuss anything, anyone, anywhere, anytime. But how close are we for comfort, now that they are an item? Does secrets still prevail between the group, or is everyone else totally off limits from the usual talk?

Do not misunderstand, I for one am totally comfortable with a relationship where we start out as friends. I also believe that my other half should also be my best friend. But do we want to go into a relationship, when every other aspect of this friendship is at stake? Back in our minds, we prepare ourselves that should it fail, we end up losing a friend, and even the group. It will not go back to the way it was. It never will. It never does.

If thats the case, then why do we do it? Why do we keep repeatingly hit ourselves over our head with a hammer? Because, it feels good when it stops. Maybe we like the pain, maybe we are wired for it, because without it, maybe we just wouldn't feel real.

But I guess the most important part is, where is the line drawn for any of us, when does flirting stop and intent begins?

Smoking @ 10:22 AM

Friday, February 15, 2008
LDR's

A couple of my friends were recently lamenting to me on the woes of LDR's. Truth be told, i'm not a big fan of it either...with 2 unsuccessful LDR's in tow. To me, it almost always never works out.

The Waiting, The Loneliness,

Overwhelming Insecurities,

The Sadness, The Uncertainties,

The Agonizing Pain of it all

It gets to a point where its not worth any of it. Each on the other side of the continent, the slightest uncomfortable thoughts leads to misunderstandings. Your voices gets louder thru each conversations, even tho you've been waiting for their calls at the end of a tiring day. Words that should not have been said are spoken, and even the slightest comments irks you.

The once familiar feeling has dissipated, leaving behind only contempt and awkwardness. The phone calls starts to decline, from 3 to 2 to 1, to none at all, except the cursory sms. You tell yourself its the right thing to do, its the only thing to do. Then it stops. The world becomes quiet.

The Heart Aches, The Nausea,

The Emptiness, The Quietness,

The Memories

What was once a foundation built relationship turns to naught. Regrets fills the days, the hours and seconds. Maybe if only, we could turn back the sands of time. But like an hourglass, it a never ending cycle. Either one will fall sooner or later, and i say, better sooner than later.

No Laughter, No Pains,

None of your Touches, None of your Wiles,

No more Pokes, No more Smiles

Dwelling in the moments of the past, i smile to myself. We tell ourselves it will only get better, it always does. We learn from our mistakes, our past, our experiences, our last. The hurt never really ends, and wounds never really heal.

All we can do is learn.

Labels: LDR

Smoking @ 10:07 AM

Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Fall in Love with Olivia

I recently ripped this from my colleagues after hearing her voice in my friends car..

She's singaporean but based in Japan, with an exceptionally clear, beautiful and crisp voice. She does mostly covers, but in her own style, providing a different aspect to these songs. Sometimes its almost as if you're hearing her live.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olivia_Ong

Songs to note are "For your babies & Close to you"

Labels: Falling in Love, Olivia Ong

Smoking @ 9:52 AM

Monday, February 11, 2008
The Eloquence of Writing

I've always been impressed with people who can write what they feel, how they feel, anytime, anyplace. I mean, i can write too, but just not as eloquent as them. For them, the words flow out automatically, like how a river flows downwards, or like how the sun rises from the east, bees drawn to honey etc, well, you know what i mean. For me, it takes a while to get the tap running, prolly due to a rusty leak somewhere. Anwyay...

Relatives have always bugged me. Especially the older ones and during the holidays, which is why for the longest of time, i have avoided trying to visit them, excuses like, "oh, sorry, i'm out of the country", or "hey, i'm sick, can't make it today, another time then". I'm not being anti or anything, just that the topics always tend to revolve around me sonner or later like ,"So when you getting married? All your cousings are married. Old already". Which just reminds me of a joke, and next time we gather, i'll just ask them "So when's your turn, so-and-so just passed away last year". Nah thats just mean....

But i digress...

Sometimes i think age has mellowed me. I still like house music and parties tho, but i'm beginning to appreciate jazz, chilling out, and basically "le-pak" at home. My friends have started to introduce me as Uncle to their kids, hell, even certain girls @ Mambo have called me that. Most of my friends are married, the bunch i use to hang out with all are, some of them even have kids. I totally understand. It just a matter of time, when the right one comes along, and i'll join the ranks of theirs... but till then, i'm happy being single, for now that is...

I feel so old suddenly.. and then i start to realise.. i am old....

Smoking @ 9:19 AM